Violence

Making Stories of Violence Known

Responding to Disclosures of Abuse in Women’s Lives: A Guide For Teachers of Literacy

by Jenny Horsman

(published in Focus on Basics, Boston: World Education, 2005)

Figures for the number of women who were sexually abused as children vary from estimates of one in five, to even higher. It is fair to assume that the number of women in literacy programs who have been abused, could be substantially higher, as some widely documented reactions to abuse include an inability to pay attention in school, acting out, or being barely “present.” Such reactions might well have got in the way of girls’ attempts to learn to read.

The experience of women who have been or are still being abused will likely also interfere with their learning as adults. Very often they have been told they are stupid and unable to learn; abusers may be controlling their victims by convincing them that they are too stupid to survive on their own, that they can’t work or go back to school. These effects may continue long after women have left abusive relationships; if they are still being battered, they may get fresh messages every day that tell them they can’t succeed at learning. As well, shame and embarrassment may force them to miss class when they have visible bruises.

Programs must do their part to prevent further abuse from occurring within the classroom. A violence-free program is one that has sexual harassment policies and procedures; trained tutors and staff who have opportunities to reflect on the impacts of violence on learning; a learning environment where the consequences of violence are recognized and accepted, and where women can speak comfortably and confidentially about their experiences.

Just by entering a literacy program, memories of childhood and school days are opened up. This can be a good thing as it is often a first step towards control and healing. Given this, the aftermath of violence will be present in the classroom even if it is not spoken about directly. This creates important challenges, such as, how should literacy programs prepare themselves to respond to disclosures of violence? How do programs create learning environments that are able to respond with empathy and respect? How can literacy programs provide information and support to women who have been abused and how can staff and tutors communicate their belief in their students’ abilities to learn. Here are some beginning suggestions. If you discuss them in your program you will see which ones will work in your setting and what additional suggestions you have to responding to disclosures of violence.

PREPARE YOURSELF. Create conditions for learning that acknowledge many people experience violence and that violence often affects learning. This may make it easier for women to feel safe in speaking of their own abuse. Make sure that there is never any pressure for women to disclose. Safe and trusting environments are ones that invite self-reflection, safe risk-taking and encourage students and teachers to take care of themselves. Create a comfortable place to learn that nurtures the whole self, heart, mind, body and spirit. Avoid making judgments about behaviour that bothers you; trust it makes sense to students and may have been learned to survive violence and its aftermath. If curriculum or class discussions focus on topics such as childhood, schooling or women’s personal histories, be prepared for stories to be disclosed. Many topics may trigger painful memories, so prepare students in advance for difficult topics and give them options. Make sure you know the resources available for women in your community so you can help them access them when they are ready.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Hold onto your central focus, which is to SUPPORT LEARNING. Ensure that everything you do and say supports students to feel good about themselves as learners. Help students avoid self-blame and shame and encourage them to be kind to themselves. Respect that students do things in their own way and in their own time. Support students by holding the belief that they can learn, that they can make changes in their lives, that they are not hopeless or stupid. Help them to use family and community resources and to keep looking until they find supports which are right for them. Listen to how it is going and offer encouragement.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF. Recognize that it is painful to bear witness. Try to balance the pain and joy in your life – make time for pleasure. Find ways to heal from the pain you witness. Get the support of a counsellor or peer to talk through issues that surface for you and the ways you are looking after yourself. You also may need to set boundaries with students, including being clear about when you have time to talk, whether students can call you at home, or what you are able to listen to. If you have experienced violence, it may mean that you have wonderful empathy, but may have anger about your own abuse, or difficulty listening to more pain. You need to set the boundaries that are right for you and take on your issues separately from your work with survivors of abuse.

READING, WRITING, TELLING ABOUT THE EXPERIENCES. Sometimes, learners’ stories weave their way into curriculum. If stories of abuse are disclosed within a classroom setting, programs will want to hold onto the focus on learning while being sensitive to how these stories are affecting the teller and listeners. Instructors have to be careful not to re-victimize the learner by soliciting stories that learners are not willing or ready to share. You need to make sure everyone is safe – physically as well as emotionally. Encourage students to opt out if they need to. To build this issue into the curriculum, some choose to read stories about abuse, watch videos that tell survivors’ stories, or read chapters from self-help books such as The Courage to Heal. Students may recognize themselves in these stories, may become more aware of the impact this issue has had on their lives, and may gain more strength as learners. Make sure you help learners to take the lead on what is helpful, notice when students are reticent to go further, offer them options.

RESPOND TO CRISES. Many women, as they begin to remember and speak or write about abuse, relive the feelings of terror, panic, pain and helplessness they felt, and could hardly allow themselves to feel when the abuse took place. These powerful emotions can leave women feeling that they cannot bear to feel so much and lead to responses such as numbing out, coldness, avoidance, anger, grief, or suicidal feelings. Survivors who are reliving past traumas may experience many crises. If learners are in a crisis state, help them find good supports, and seek advice yourself from a therapist, counsellor, or crisis worker. You could also read “The Emergency Stage” from Beginning to Heal, an easy-to-read self-help book for survivors.

HELP THEM TO LEAVE SHAME BEHIND. One of the biggest issues for many survivors of abuse, is a struggle with shame and blaming themselves. Help them to recognize that violence is never the fault of the victim. Learners can be empowered by reading stories of other survivors because they are often angry on behalf of the other victim and very clear that she is not to blame. This may help them to realize that they are also not to blame. You and your learners may be able to identify some other consequences of abuse which they want to change, such as saying “yes” to things they don’t want to do or not believing in their worth enough to take care of themselves.

Learners’ may feel extremely vulnerable when they break silence. Their stories are sacred. You should break confidence only if you fear for their or their children’s safety, or you become aware of a criminal issue. For learners to make an informed decision about what and how they disclose, they need to know the program is a place where whatever they reveal, they, and their written and spoken stories, will be treated gently and respectfully. They need to know they will not be judged or seen as poor souls and that their strength and resilience will always be honoured.

Based on a series of publications including Take on the Challenge, available from World Education. Other publications are available from www.jennyhorsman.com. To order Courage to Heal, or Beginning to Heal, contact Harper Collins Publishers (212) 207-7000.

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